I’ve been asked several times to talk about what it was like to breastfeed a baby in Japan and lots of questions about breastfeeding when out-and-about.
I’m one of those really fortunate Mummies who was able to breastfeed both of my children.
One of my first real (and maybe only true) concern when I discovered that our family had been presented with the opportunity to live in Japan again was would I be able to still continue breastfeeding in the same way I had for my big girl.
I started emailing around friends to ask what they thought and googled around like a crazy lady. I have lived in Japan for 11+ year now but only 2 years of those have been with children and, as you know if you’re a parent, the whole world is different when you have kids – so I had lots of questions about how it would all work for us and I was still working out (still am!) what kind of parent I wanted be – regardless of location.
One thing I was already very clear on: I wanted to continue breastfeeding until one of us, me or baby, wanted to stop.
I breastfeed my first child for 14+ months and only stopped as I was pregnant with my second and it was just too painful.
One of my friends is Australia and has now had 3 babies here. She was fantastic in reassuring me that Japanese people are, in fact, very pro-breastfeeding. Many Japanese Mums here take part in extended breastfeeding – particularly as it is often easier too when you lie in a futon with your baby/babies at night.
As much as I assumed that Japanese people would be shy and embarrassed when talking about breastfeeding I found it really refreshing that it was in fact the opposite. I actually think that it’s a more of a socially-acceptable conversation topic than Australia. I’m not suggesting you start up a cracked-nipple conversation at a dinner party or anything (baaahaaa It would make sure that people don’t forget you were there though….) but I often have Mums and Dads just casually ask if my baby would like a snack or am I still breastfeeding.
I also haven’t experienced any judgement either. This was a particular concern of mine as my little boy is just a giant human. He was a giant baby and then a giant toddler- especially compared with Japanese kids of the same age. So I was worried about people making a comment about me feeding a 2 year old who also looked like he could buy you a beer and kick me in the face at the same time. But, in fact, I’ve found people to be so kind and say what a good job I’m doing.
And you know what? If someone was silly enough to say something stupid….? I’d probably just selectively ‘turn off’ the Japanese button on my brain. It’s a beautiful advantage of living somewhere that isn’t in your first language. Bliss, even.
As for breastfeeding in public, I’ve found Japan to have the most immaculately clean changing room and breastfeeding space facilities. Particularly inside department stores, museums and play centres.
If you check out my suggested itineraries posts and scroll to the bottom, I mention the breastfeeding and changing spaces that I use and have used in Tokyo. There is also an app called MamaPapaMap app which will show you were to find changing rooms, designated breastfeeding spaces in shopping malls and train stations etc.
But for me, having just 23 months between my 2 kiddies, waiting for a breastfeeding room wasn’t always practical. I needed to continue on with my big girl’s lunch or watching her play etc.
So then I was worried about how it would be seen to breastfeed in public. I didn’t want to offend anyone or embarrass myself.
I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen anyone breastfeed in public (but then again, before kids, who is looking for that stuff before kids, right?)
Long story short : Yes. Breastfeeding in public – YES. BUT …. without a breastfeeding cover, I wouldn’t do it. I used a breastfeeding cover in Australia too as I’m a bit private like that (hence the idea of a public onsen being my worst nightmare ever – even after living in Japan for almost a third of my life!)
I will never get over the fact that Japanese women are so modest but , if I run into another Mum from school in the Gym showers she’ll ask me how I’m going – while all that nudity is just all… out there. Hahaha.
If you didn’t bring a cover with you to Tokyo, you can easily buy one on Amazon or Toys’R’Us or Akachan Hompo stores. In Japanese they are called bonyuu keepu ( 母乳ケープ ).
I do know a couple of people who don’t believe in the covers, even when in Tokyo. More power to you. It’s not my style though and you have to be comfortable that you are exactly playing by the culturally sensitive rules – but I can understand that point of view too. It is natural. It’s your call. Your body. Your baby. Baby getting their food comes first.
But you might get a few looks (not in a creepy/pervy way – just others may feel awkward and unsure where to look.)
And if you’re with Japanese friends, they may feel extremely uncomfortable – something that you might want to take into consideration too.
I feel that I was lucky to live in such a pro-breastfeeding community with my second baby….and not only pro-breastfeeding, but also a country that respects personal privacy too.
I have a girlfriend who lives in Indonesia and she had random Mothers just try and “help” by touching her breast and maneuvering her baby to feed etc. That couldn’t be more different to my breastfeeding experience.
I was left to do my thing. My own way. With the offer to use a private space if I wanted to – or just brought a glass of water by a kind Mum from the next table while sitting in a busy cafe.
If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, you may also like my post where I talked about all the things I worried about when I moved to Japan with children here.
And then the things that I found to be tricky at first.
