I wrote this back in 2019 when I had two very small children in Tokyo and my husband travelled a lot for work.
Although we are out of many of these smaller “family stages” many of my copying strategies remain the same.
This is big step for me – writing about parts I’ve found difficult, at least at first, about life in Tokyo with kids. Mainly because, in case you can’t tell from all of my posts, I adore Tokyo and find it to be such a fun and convenient city. ie. my pro’s on living in Tokyo list is waaaaay longer. I also feel very defensive about Japan and Japanese culture – maybe because I have lived here so long or maybe it is just because I was really floored by my culture shock a long time ago and I needed to slowly come around to understanding why certain things are done a particular way.
However, there were some things that took a little while to adjust to. So I thought I would share these points and what we do, as a family, to make them feel a little less tricky.
When we moved to Tokyo I’d already lived a total of 8+ years in Japan (down in the Okayama & Hyogo Prefectures) and, I’ll admit, I was oh-so cocky!
“I speak the language, I’m conscious of the social & cultural norms, I won’t need any help (this point says more probably about my personality than anything else) and I completed that horrid mandatory session of culture shock already ” was what ran through my head at different points of the packing-up process.
Fast forward 3 weeks?
I was crying down the phone to my Hubby because I couldn’t work out how to get any nappies at my closest drugstore as they were on the second floor and my gigantic double stroller (for help choosing which stroller to bring read my post here ) was down on the first with two crying little ones.
Some of my adjustment was, admittedly, just the whole ‘oh my god, now I have to keep 2 kids alive at once’ thing. But a few months later we found our groove and friends who could help with the short cuts. I also just came to terms with the things I’d just have to accept and were going to be a bit more difficult.
I like to joke that “pre-kids in Japan” me knew the cool bars & cafes (I worked in hotels etc. ) whereas now I’m the master of the change tables and elevators locations. Wild, yes?!
The trains
Hopefully the upcoming Olympics will bring about change but, right now, a large proportion of Tokyo stations do not have elevators at all. So…even if the station on my side has an elevator, I have no guarantee that I’ll be able to get out easily at the other end – and changing trains in the middle can often make life a bit more difficult too.
Please don’t let this turn you off train travel completely – the system is like no other! It’s safe and clean and not half as crowded as everyone imagines (as long as you don’t get a train between 8am-10am, of course.)
If I had just one child (or if even one of them was in baby carrier or big enough to walk on their own ( my “baby” is a giant human so I couldn’t carry him for long) I don’t think this would be quite as tricky for me but – as my kids are just 23 months apart I still needed (and we walk A LOT so still do) a double stroller.
So that means that when I’m alone and reach the stairs, I often need to take children out of the stroller, make one walk and usually carry another while pulling up a stroller (or relying on a kind stranger or staff member to help with that bit.) Some subways have as many as 6 flights of stairs in a row – that’s a lot of wine and cheese I would need to consume in the late evening to justify all of that work. (!)
It’s not impossible (and even easier on the weekends when my husband can join us on our adventures) but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t avoid the subway and over-ground train travel when I have both kids with me. (Sorry to those Mummies that must be thinking I’m soft!)
When I really have to though, I do my research on stations with elevators and if there is a transfer to make in the middle , I sometimes use google maps (another reason why I think it’s vital to have internet while you’re in Japan as I mentioned in my Preparing For Your Tokyo Chapter post ) to calculate how much longer it would be to walk at least part of the way instead (but I love walking and taking in the city and I know that’s not for everyone.)
This site Japan Accessible has a list of stations equipped with elevators – incase you want to check before you head off for the day.
Also, I highly recommend walking as much as possible. Tokyo’s city neighbourhoods sound like they are far apart but you’ll be surprised how close they can be. Something to consider? You’ll get more of the “vibe” of different neighbourhoods this way anyway. If it rains we jump in a taxi as you can probably expect to pay about 1000 yen for about 10 -15 minute drive (a bit more at night.)
Here is a list to give you an idea of walking time required…
Then, for the days when I catch the train we try and avoid a heavy stroller. I purchased a Japanese stroller – an Aprica. It weighs 3.3 kgs so I can easy carry it while holding two sets of little hands. That helps.
Carrying the groceries
If you don’t have a car it can be a shock when you consider that you can only purchase as much as you can carry.
This was a new concept when I first moved to Japan as a student. I had to decide between carrying a bag of rice or a few bottles of diet coke! I even considered one of the those granny pull-y bags!
Japan still has a long way to go when it comes to internet shopping too. However, Amazon Japan saves my life a few times a week (how did I ever survive without it? ) That’s how I get my nappies and wipes too……. and almost all supermarkets and fresh produce stores offer free same-day home delivery if you spend a certain amount. So I go to the supermarket, fill my trolley, pay and my groceries meet me at home the same day. My fruit’n’veg man sometimes beats me up the hill!
This is how the locals mostly do a big shop for their family. (You do need to confirm that you are in the store’s delivery zone – of course. ) Note that same day delivery cut-offs are often around 2pm.
In my experience, most supermarkets deliver for purchases over 5000 yen (Maruetsu delivers for free for only 1800 yen +)
当日配達は可能ですか？ Is same-day delivery possible?
配達料金はいくらですか？ How much does delivery cost?
See HERE for some other vocab phrases that may be useful during your travels.
Eating out for dinner
We love eating out with our children – regardless of which country we are in. However, in Japan I feel that we need to be more organized with reservations and restaurant selection. I find that this is less of an issue at lunch time so we do try to eat our for lunch as much as possible on weekends.
Please don’t get me wrong, there are lots of lovely restaurants for families here but , unlike Australia, not all restaurants are non-smoking which is pretty much a deal-breaker for me. If you’re brave enough to just wander into a restaurant then a good way to suss out the kiddie-friendly factor is to ask if they have baby chairs (high chairs) . I also highly recommend getting the first reservation of the evening (especially if the restaurant is a bit fancy.) I feel then that my kids are not going to disturb other people on their dates and the staff can give us the attention we need. Unless it is “family restaurant” is it unlikely that the restaurant will have colouring etc for children while they wait so we always take our own.
I think the “secret” is really good planning (isn’t it always with kids?) – that way grownups and kids won’t miss out on all the fun activities because everyone is busy (and grumpy) looking for a suitable restaurant. If I know I’m exploring a certain area I try to have a few potential restaurants planned (on completely different sides of an area as we never know where we will end up at mealtimes) and then I feel like we are covered. Check out my Suggested Itineraries posts for restaurants that I’ve tried and tested with my kids.
For example, at the moment, my most detailed suggested itinerary is definitely my Harajuku area suggestions post.
The late starts
It’s really inconvenient how late the mornings start out here. The department stores and many tourist attractions ( sometimes including parks) don’t often open until 11am. I don’t know about you… but by 11am my kiddies need lunch and I’ve been up for 5 hours!
So I need to do my research and make sure we do the local parks and attractions that do open early in the day. The good news if you’re night owls – everything is open really late ! You can hit a department store at 9pm !
I solved my own problems here by making a list of things to do before 10am. See my post here.
Rainy Season
We moved here in rainy season so maybe that’s why it felt extra tricky.
I didn’t believe that it would really rain for that many days in a row. It did.
….So that rules out outdoor activities but at least it’s nice and warm, right?
My husband and daughter get eaten alive by mosquitoes at this time of year so we are learning to be vigilant with closing windows and doors as much as possible and slathering on mosquito repellant too.
So yes – pack insect repellant! (I haven’t found any brands I love here.) For ideas on other things to pack read HERE.
With little kids, the best thing I do every rainy season is purchase an inflatable pool on Amazon Japan. Then they can still cool down and get a wriggle without leaving the house. In fact I think it was our first piece of “furniture” I purchased when we moved to Tokyo!! And I just keep repurchasing new pools when the old ones get bitten passed their used by date.
I actually have a pinterest list of rainy day ideas as my go to. (These are my favourites.) We try to have a bag ready and run outside the minute the rain stops for even a moment.
….and when the weather is a bit chillier the pool is the playgym (note the anti-head-donking cushions.)
If you live in Tokyo you’ll have free access to your local community centre (jidoukan) kids playing space. We spent lots of rainy days here and, in fact, it’s where my baby boy learnt to crawl.
Then we also try and get crafty when we are housebound too. Using with my (oops) online shopping boxes. It’s amazing how imaginative you can be when it’s been a while since you left the house…….
And then… sometimes we just go with it. It’s still so warm that we just throw on ponchos and jump in all the puddles we can – then come home for a bath.
